5. Hopeless Romantic

Invest your whole self in people. I mean it, do not be afraid to put everything you are into someone. Do not be afraid to give that person your all. In return, you'll receive more than you could've ever imagined.

Be weary, though, that you cannot make that person your happiness. When you love them, give them all you have but get out of bed in the morning for yourself. And please, promise me that you will not allow yourself to be absorbed in their brown eyes. When the light hits those same eyes and transforms them to the most inviting hazel, do not lose yourself.

I mean it. When you make someone else your happiness, they become your sun, your moon, and all your stars. They illuminate your life. But what happened when your constellation finds a new sky? What happens when that happiness leaves from your life. 

You wake up one morning to the sheet pulled over and an unfamiliar emptiness - nothing. You frantically reach over for your phone - nothing. 

The text you read shatters your heart and forces you into the depths of your sheets.
I won't go into details of the text. It obviously makes two to make a mess. If I could go back to that moment and realize I was making a terrible mistake I would go back, but life does not operate that way. Sometimes we do things unconsciously without knowing the damages one does to another. 

What sucks the most is that suddenly, your sky becomes dark. There is no sun, no moon and no stars. Most just go searching for a new happiness - a body to fill the empty space next to you in this new darkness, something to illuminate their sky once more. But that is not me. Jumping from happiness to happiness does not bring any true happiness to me. I just want to fix this mess I've made and continue to my old happiness because that's what truly makes me happy.

There are days when I feel warm and melted like a puddle of ice cream that has pooled at the bottom of the bowl on a hot day in July. Dip your finger into me and taste this slipping sweetness wont you?

I keep the thoughts of you somewhere floating between my rubs. I put you there because I thought you might stop running if you saw how hard my heart beats when you get too close, all flushed and sweat-stained, get too close. You know that feeling when you wake up in the middle of the night skin hot skin sticking with sweat tangled between the sheets, the weight of your heavy memory is always on top of me bare and biting but i always forget to ask you to stay.