I wish I could put into words how much I love you. But my vocabulary isn't wide enough, and even if it was, I'm not sure I could string together a sentence to describe how strong my feelings are for you truly are.
It's nights like these where I miss your presence, where I miss your arms wrapped tight around me, where I miss laying my head on your chest and falling asleep to the sound of your heart, getting up to those kisses from those lips that once loved mine (and I still hope they do)
It's nights like these where I flashback to the first time you told me you loved me, staring into my eyes on that mellow May evening. The only thing that filled the streets was our love, but that was enough love to fill thousands of people's hearts.
It's night like these where my pillow is drenched in thousands of tears I once cried in your arms, because you once told me that there was no one else in the world more perfect for you, yet here I am trying to live without your love.
On nights where my eyes struggle to stay open, my mind wanders to the thoughts of us. Of who we were, where we stand, and I finally realize. We are starting to become strangers, and that makes me sad.
We are no longer together, but I'm still crazy about you, and I always will. I can't stop crying over you even though it seems like you've moved on without me. What sucks the most is that certain things no longer have the meaning they did. Those receipts I've kept for years of our first dates and places we've made memories no longer have meaning. They are just faded paper.
Songs that would come up on the radio that were meaningful I now wish they no longer played. I have your birthday written down in calendars that will take me years to erase. Sad that you won't even share that special day with me when I've shared that special day with yours. You are not even here, but you're everywhere.
What I don't understand is how after someone shows you so much love, passion, commitment; how can you shut it down so easily? But that's something only you could answer. I'm sorry being friends is hard enough for me. I just can't keep waking up everyday hoping that day will be the end of my misery. But everyday, the disappointment is bigger. Not having you hurts, perhaps I gotta let you know so you can decide what you truly want to do with your decisions. Because me being there making you so comfortable that I won't leave, but I can only tolerate so much pain.
Don't worry about me because it didn't really seemed like you did anyways. I've never been a top 3 priority for you when you were my #1. Maybe someone else will show me the things I desired from you but you simply just weren't willing to do. I just hope you don't realize when it is too late. As always I wish you the best because I believe in your capability to become a success but that is no longer my duty, its up in the air for someone else. Don't contact me until you are willing to be real and committed like I've been since Day 1.
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