23. [blank]

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Finally done with my semester, been waiting for this moment for so long. But now that this day is here, it makes me more and more sad because I know this thing between us isn't going to happen anytime soon. It just makes me so mad that you asked for this space to focus on school yet you didn't utilize the time properly to perform like you told me million times. 

It just hurts so much because out of all the people who have ripped me to shreds, why on Earth did it have to be you. 

But unfortunately thats a part of life, broken hearts are nothing new. Nothing interesting, its just a thing, most the time expected like right now. Broken hearts are like the weather, sometimes its good or sometimes is bad. 

But here's the thing, trying to move on from you has been my toughest task. Not just because its you, but because I don't know how to heal my broken heart. I look for signs on your face, for you to miss me, but you don't, and I need to find a way around my heart. 

One day, you're going to miss the little text messages I send you. You're going to miss how I used to worry about you when you were out too late. You're going to miss my annoyingness. One day, when I'm gone, you're going to miss how you actually had someone that actually wanted you. And when I'm not there, you're going to miss me. 

I shared with you my most intimate moments, given you things that I would never give someone else. I ran the high risk of giving you a ring knowing how you fell but I didn't care. But I didn't know that your reaction, your words, your actions that followed after would make me feel so vulnerable and that's why I feel [blank].  

Yet the worst part is that I still love you, and I always will. And deep down i'll always be waiting for you because i've never known anyone as breathtaking as you.